So as im writing this I have Free on repeat. This is kind of my anthem. My Song to live by. So this past year or so my life has been dedicated to 2 things. Beating my cancer and Elliott Yamin

So here is where my journey started.
So for some unknown reason last year i decided to give AI another chance, i liked the show and a few people but not true fave. Well when it was down to 11 idols someone caught my eye. He sang Teach Me Tonight. ONe of the most memorable performances on idol for me. It was that day that I became an Elliott Yamin fan. Little did i know he was my "blessing in disguise" that the song Free talks about. As the weeks wen by I got more into him, I voted more and more each week, and cried when he was in the bottom 3. Then one day i got brave and went to the Elliott thread. That was something im so thankful for. IM a true believer in everything happens for a reason, in this case it was ture. I made a few friends on the E-train they where great. Then with 4 idols left they anounced Elvis week. The idols where coming to graceland. That Sat. afternoon. I met my idol, and that tuesday night everyone got to share that excitement with me. The next week was the last step in his AI journey. I have to admit, i didnt cry. I tried to so i could tell the Etrainers i did. But honestly i cried more when Sanjaya got voted off. . I guess i didnt cry because i know in my heart he was going to be BIG.

As time for the tour started getting closer i started getting sick. you all know what happened. I got dx with leukemia. But with the help of Brandon, Chee, Tx, Goldie and others i willed myself to be well for the Richmond show. Well that show was great and after the show I got to meet my idol. Brandon told him who i was. Elliott stood up and gave me a hug and told me dont worry it will be ok, and i believed him. I got a few hugs and a memory that will last forever.

Then came the Nashville show. I met all the idols but the meetings didnt compare to that of Elliott's. When E got off the elevator and saw me. He smiled and put his arms out for a hug. He pulled me aside and asked how i was feeling and what they where going to do.

Then the solo show. I got to meet him 2 times, i gave him one of my bracelets. I got kiss him on the cheek and more hugs.

In march his cd came out and after 3 walmarts i got it. I immediately fell for Free. Its great.

Then i got to see him in concert again it was in memphis and he was great i got a hug before the show along with how are you feeling, and a hug after the show, and a glad you could make it sweetie.

Elliott is amazing and he is a start. But to me his more. He is someone I look up to. Someone I strive to be. He is my hero. he has endured so many hardships only to over come them and succeed. I want to do that.

The nurses at St. Judes know me so well. Before they put me to sleep they talk to me about Elliott so it eases me to sleep. I had a procedure done, some where else, They let me listen to my ipod. I normally freak out when going to sleep but i had Elliott playing, i even watched him put the stuff in me. I fell asleep listening and singing A Song For You to myself. I woke up with a smile. The nurses at St. Judes laugh at me because I always wake up and talk about Elliott without knowing it. Im promoting this guy in my sleep.

But what im saying is Elliott means alot to me. If it wasnt for him, I wouldnt have have the heart to fight my battle. If it wasnt for Elliott i would of gave up already. If it wasnt for him. i wouldnt have another family. I wouldnt have Brandon, Harleymom, Yellin, Felisha, Nicki, Chee, Bo, Deniz, Amy, Goldie, Tx, Nana etc.

If it wasnt for one guy being brave enough to share his dream, to share his soul, to share his life, I wouldnt have half the strength i have now. So thanks Elliott. Thank you for who you are and thank you for my Etrain family.

here are some quotes from Free that help me out.

"Hold fast to your dreams, dont be afraid to fly alone in the sky"

"Nothings impossible, Free, You can achieve the unexplainable, free, I believe that miracles happen to those who refuse to be told, they can happen when we least expect, when we let ourselves be free. "

Thank you Elliott,
Thank you Etrain family.
love you all Amanda

Aww sweetie, I know Elliott feels blessed to be an inspiration to you. Your spirit inspires us too. I will be thinking about you and praying for you as the transplant happens - when? Later this week? You will be OK - I can feel it in my bones.

Much love!!!!

Amanda..You are so right...Elliott opened his soul and heart and let us
in....And I pray everyday he knows what an inspiration he is to so many in
so many different ways...
And Amanda you have inspired many as well...I send you love and
blessings....be strong..

diane

Ahhhhhh! Amanda, my girl, your post is just beautiful. I know so much what Elliott is to you. I thank Elliott every day for bringing you into my life and you know you can always lean on me. Love you!

Beautiful post, Amanda. He gives of his self so freely and I am sure you have been able to draw so much strength and inspiration from his music, and just from the person that he is..God Bless You, and thanks for sharing that with us :lotsolove:

Beautifully expressed. I'm sure Elliott knows exactly what you mean, how you feel. I think he is able to get through each concert and to continue to give his all day after day because of the energy he gets from the fans. Keep thinking positive. There are lots of prayers and good thoughts coming your way.

I know people keeping quoting One Word when describing Elliott and his concerts and everything...but I think it applies more to you sweetie...

One Word...all I can say is amazing!!

I think Elliott would agree!

I dont know you, but i like you....haha thanks

that was a beautiful post amanda. i am ecstatic that you found people who have served as your support group in what you've been going through. and the posts up top are correct -- you yourself are an inspiration too. i'll be keeping you in my prayers too.

It's funny how Free is the only song Elliott didn't choose; I guess whoever chose it realized how popular it would be.

In memory of our sweet Amanda...I am bumping this back to the top.

This is such a heartfelt testimony from a precious young lady we all grew to know and to love.

How Elliott truly touched her life...from the beginning to the very end...

Amanda...you will be missed, but the impact you had here on the Etrain will live in our hearts forever. May you rest in peace sweet girl.

Theresa

To think this was written a year ago and we are at the other side of this journey now. The openness and authenticity with which she shared her heart and journey with us / with Elliott will always be an inspiration to me.

To be reminded of the role Elliott played just by being courageous enough to show up at AI auditions is a testament to the beauty of him and of Amanda.

i've wanted so long to say a proper goodbye to amanda but everytime i try, i couldn't seem to find the words. which was something that doesn't normally happen to me. but after reading this thread again, i think i'm ready to finally let it go and i think this is the fitting place to do that.

amanda had been one of the very first online friends i had made. we go as far back as the idol boards. she was a makarita whilst i had already been an elliott fan. but she would pop in once in a while at our little thread to wish us luck each week so we had all taken a liking to her and her sweet, indomitable nature.

the week will makar didn't make the top 12, she had sworn off american idol. and when she popped in our thread again just to wish us well and bid us her "goodbyes", we had "lured" her into the train. of course, it really didn't take much to make her an elliott fan. she had simply wanted to pitch in a few votes during stevie week. but the week after that, she was very much an etrain member.

throughout the weeks of elliott's AI journey, we cheered each other on. she was always the optimist. always seeing the silver lining. we were all so thrilled for her when she went to graceland and everyone gushed about how she actually got on tv just cause she seemed to be the "biggest elliott fan ever".

and then of course we heard about how she was heading for the doctor one day and ultimately, that she had taken ill. still, throughout all these and even through her final moments, she was the eternal optimist, always thankful for every little minute that she was able to experience life, every moment that she was able to listen to elliott, every chance she got at thrilling the nurses over her fangirliness, and every moment she was able to inspire someone who was ill like her to continue to fght on.

amanda, you have been such a beacon of hope for many of us. you will be sorely missed. i would have loved to have met you personally and finally shake hands with the first fan i had converted into elliott-fanaticism. but you will always be part of this train and we travel a little less happy without you but a lot more whole as persons because of the way you have enriched us. we'll be seeing you.

Lovely post. lothlorien. I still can't believe she's gone.

Nice post Loth...I think everyone on the Etrain that followed Amanda's story is touched by this post. She definately had a way of expressing herself. This is such a heartfelt testimony from our girl...Thank you for sharing your thoughts.

Hugs,

Theresa

lovely words, Loth. Thanks

Beautiful post lothlorien, and also nice to see Amanda's post again.